thoughtless useless

When things that supposed to be motivating starting to have the opposite effects.

When things that supposed to be inspiring seems out of reach.

When you thought of the support system that actually demoralising.

When you feel like a mess in the middle of the night.

When you wanted to do nothing but get out of the life you were in.

Take a deep breath and order some Bakmi GM or Martabak Keju.
You probably hungry.

I Miss Sitting in a Meeting

A good one.

I am sure you all know what I mean. I am not talking about a meeting where you just sit around a table and listening to some nonsense. I am talking about a nice brainstorming session, the one that actually providing results, or at least steps towards that. In a meeting we could get some inspirations and ideas and collaborations for some cool things, some fun events, etc.

Some prefer to called it brainstorming, well it works. It sends out a more cool vibe than the word ‘meeting’. While brainstorming sounds like a more fun activity with throwing a lot of ideas out of the box and that kind of stuff, meeting tend to drive our mind to that long boring moment when we play candy crush or scrolling over social media while pretending to be present at the room or table.

I had this random thought just when I was about to sleep, well most of my random thoughts comes up at that time, and I felt like I haven’t been bloging for such a long time, so why don’t I share this random thought with the interwebs.

Back then, I was used to sit on a long meeting, discussing about details of the event. It was a headache back then, I must admit, lots of arguments, problems, dramas, name it all. But it was all worth it when you can argue and actually getting results. Your idea might not be always the best and picked all the time, but the feeling of being listened and taken into considerations gives us a feel of respect. Which encourage us to throw some ideas in the future.

To make it simple, it was tiring but worth it. All the times, energy, hard work that been spent on the event paid off when the event is done and we all can share the memories and lessons for future events.

What I missed the most actually the camraderie. We all spare our times to do the meetings, comes up with idea, crafting the equipments, making phone calls, try to pull all strings we had. We just get motivated to not be the one that pulling the team down.

I am not sure, wether the work ethic has changed, or maybe it just a bunch of people with different work pace with me. One thing for sure, I am not feeling the sense of camraderie anymore. It might be just a different path that we grown into and that is the reality that must be accepted.

Good meeting sessions also helps to keep the mind sharps. We are being pushed to use our minds to think about a lot of stuff, from decision making, solutions for problems, or maybe some light jokes to lighten the mood.


I really miss a good brainstorming session.

Let’s not be a grinch!

Happy New Year!

I know it was a long month ago that the new year passed, but last week we just passed another one, so I figure it’s still valid!

I have been ignoring this blog for way too long, to be honest, I was kinda lost the feeling for blogging because I don’t think that I have something worth sharing for. Last year wasn’t a very bright year for me. Leaving Singapore because of this back injury, it feels like I abandoning something I adore for so long. But, it was all in the past and let it be in the past, take a thing to be a lesson and not dwell so much on it.

As a lesson from it, I started to get more aware on my health. Other than swimming for the back, I add some weight training to build some muscle. Well, mostly I work out so I can justify what I am eating. Although, by working out I figure I was more reliable on the diet. Just because I don’t want all the hard work goes to waste.

With that being said, it sometimes bugs me when people exaggerating their diet. Yes I know it was a pain in the ass to burn all that calories away and you don’t want it to just easily go away. But it doesn’t mean that you have to be such a drama queen when you wanted to eat something. If you want to eat it just friggin eat it! work your ass later in the gym to burn that extra calorie! If you committed to the diet then do it and do not be such a wuss when people ate in front of you and putting such a miserable face, you just make the appetite gone along with the joyful of eating. Do not take away the grinch job!

On the other side, let’s move into a more positive side. Being exposed to a lot of information available, especially with the internet nowadays, it is confusing for a newbie like me. Currently, I am trying to workout like a powerlifter/bodybuilder kinda workout and I got a lot of help from, they provide a lot of information and free workout template. While for a little motivation I like to watch Matt Vincent’s video on youtube as well as SuperTraining. They both provide a valuable information and occasionally motivational content.

Let’s hope (and work) for a better year ahead of us!


Last season of NBA was an end of an era, three of the biggest player that ever play for the generation that I watched is hanging their shoes.

Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett, and Tim Duncan.

Those three have such a great career playing in the league, Kobe in the Lakers, KG start up the Wolves, and Duncan receiving the baton for the Spurs from David Robinson. Everybody knows Kobe, whether they love him or hate him. KG always been flashy and always bring the life of the party. But the one that I truly admire is ‘the fundamental’ that keep Spurs steady on the top of the pack, Tim Duncan.

He shows that you do not have to be flashy to stand up, he provides a steady fundamental for San Antonio Spurs. Standing in strong with David Robinson as the twin tower, transitioning into the big three eras with Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker, and helping the team to mold Kawhi Leonard to receive the baton. Five championships ring should be enough to prove the quality of Spurs #21, if you add his individual honor it will only get better.

He sets a different standard for a player. You do not need to act like a big star to be one. You can live humble and lead with actions to boost up your team, to make your team mate play better, to win championships, to become a leader that can be trusted.

My words will not do justice for what Tim Duncan did in the league. I suggest you to watch all the speeches from his team mate and of course Coach Pops on the San Antonio Spurs Twitter account. There is also one movie by his brother about Tim Duncan, with one scene in the ending that caught my attention. a quote from Tim Duncan,

Good, better, best.
Never let it Rest.
Until your good is better,
and your better is best.

– Tim Duncan

From the Spurs’s twitter account, I also have one favorite picture of him walking out the court while hugging coach Pops that match one quote from Tim to Pops.


Thank you for being more than a coach. For being like a father to me. Thank You

I am sad this has to happen, but this will be the mark of a new era of the game.


Here Comes The Boom!



pic from here


I just rewatching Here Comes The Boom a comedy movie by Kevin James. Launched at 2012, this movie told a story about a teacher that goes around being a punching bag in an MMA cage to help his friend and saving the music program that threatens to be stopped because there’s not enough funding. It is a cliche story.

What I love about this movie is the character of Kevin James, a passionate teacher that lost his fire due to the degradation of the school system. There until the problem arise and he wanted to help as well as impress the school nurse. I said it already, it is a cliche. But the scene where he found out that the music teacher he helps actually really care about the students to the point of bought used instruments and repair it to be lending it to the student, and he decided to go back to his old self and teach passionately, it is cool to watch!

The perseverance and the willingness to give it all to his student is really a gem for somewhat a low-key movie. It got me thinking when was the last time I gave my all to sacrifice for others, how many opportunities I have wasted just because I refuse to get out of my comfort zone. This movie has relighted a fire in me.

Well, I decided to rewatch this movie because I wanted to watch some light comedy with MMA-ish ambiance since I am starting a 6 weeks workout program to lose this weight and hopefully getting this broken back into the old glory. I tried to watch my food intake as well as putting more workout during my day.

I just hope that I can achieve what I set in the beginning and keep this fire lit for a long time. It will be a pleasure if my fire can help you guys re-lit your old goals or even lit a new one!

Now, I have a KM plus to swim.

Jackie Winning an Oscar!

After a long career stunt, Jackie Chan is finally got the oscar. As a kid that grow with his movies, I can’t feel anything other than joy when I see him got what he deserved. I remember how excited I was when my parents bring me to the cinema to watch his movie. I can clearly remember a scene where he put on a penguin costume and beating up all those bad guys as well as when he sang a duet together with Chris Tucker in Rush Hour.

Listening to his acceptance speech is as entertaining as watching his movie. You can feel both humbleness and warmth from him no matter how influential he was. Just like a nice cheese and wine, he went gracefully with age.

Just like a nice cheese and wine, he went gracefully with age.

Have a look at his acceptance speech and all the kind words all the colleagues have for him.

Yes, you are truly Chantastic!

Those Restless Night

image from here

Don’t you just hate it.
When night comes.
When your body crave for rest.
Yet your mind just rejects the proposal.

Don’t you just hate it.
When night comes.
When your brain decides to let go.
Yet your heart refuses to.

Don’t you just hate it.
When night comes.
When you thought that you got your shit figured out.
Yet you seems clueless.

Don’t you just hate it.
When night comes.
When you full of ideas.
Yet during the bright days, you just keep daydreaming.

Well, don’t you just hate it when you thought you are strong,
yet you are felt so helpless and lonely.

Maybe it was you that pushing away,
or maybe you are the one that being pushed away.

The Super Samoan!

I grow up watching WWE, since the time it known as WWF. An era where pre-Hollywood The Rock feuding with the likes of Stone Cold, Triple H, and such. High flying Hardys, table breaking Dudleys, and annoying yet fun Christian and Edge. I watch it until the era where Edge going single and was the Champions, Kurt Angle and Rey Mysterio exchanging belts, and I stopped. Because of an incident that caused an underaged mimicking the moves and ended up died while doing it, and the shows was taken off the air in my country.

As I watching wrestling growing up, and now I wanted to get more in shape and get fit. I figure I need some kind of body goals. People tend to go with those people that super bulky and buff when they go for a fitness goal. Well, it’s not weird, some says to keep dream big, right? I have goals too, I wish that someday I will have a body like Brock Lesnar. Having a big dream is not a sin, but it is also important to have something more realistic. Just like when you want to run a marathon, you have to start running, do a 5k, 10k, half marathon, and then you go to the marathon.

Brock Lesnar is very jacked, I’ve seen his training routine on youtube and I even out of breath just watching it. The cool thing about him is not only he is strong, he also possesses a speed and agility like a cruiserweight wrestler. But I am aware of my condition right now. He was an all-American champion and a pro athlete his whole life and I was this fat Asian boy that play basketball and eat all the time, and when the basketball stops it just mean that I got extra time to eat. In a short, I was a couch potato.

As I said, it’s nice to have high goals, but make sure you have some that still reachable, and you work yourself over time. While I heard the news that Brock Lesnar is going to make his comeback at the UFC Octagon, I was stoked and excited. I wasn’t a big fan of UFC before, but I would like to see how he do in the octagon. Since the WWE is ‘scripted’ and the performers are considered more as a performer than an athlete. The rants can go for another paper regarding that issues. My point is I wanted to see him fight in the octagon. The build up for the match is huge, not surprising tho, remembering that both of the biggest giants is backing  this event. I am not gonna talk about the result and stuff because it is full of scandals and such. What I wanted to tell is when I know the one that will face Brock Lesnar at UFC 200, I was again stoked.

The man was Mark Hunt, the Super Samoan, a New Zealand fighter that known as a big hitter, whom also a winner for K1 Tournament in Japan. Why I got stoked? Well, it was not a surprise that some heavyweight fighter can be a bit chunky. Let’s make it this way, if you bumped over him in the street, you won’t have a thought that he is a UFC Fighter. When I youtube some of his old matches I was even more blown away, he is actually a great fighter. It led me to look for his biography, Born To Fight, where he share the struggles of growing up and how he can get into his position right now. I would highly recommend it.

What got me in his story is, he was never a school jocks, a well-established athlete, he might have his stint when he tried out for a rugby team, but it eventually went south. Regardless all his shortcomings he always found a way to get back on track. The determination of a ghetto boy, a story of an underdog. Which is a more relatable story to most of us, I find this motivating. For me, I love to have a big goal, but it is important to have something that still reachable for the moment. I might still have a long way to go towards the physique of Brock Lesnar, but in a meantime, I will head for Mark Hunt and from there, I started to go towards the very end of the track!

I write this post as a motivation for me since I started to working out regularly and losing my excessive weight in order to be able to do a proper activity without exhausting myself and pressuring my body to the extent, and of course to be able to have a taste of those amazing delicious treats awaits. This body has cost me some dreams and it is time to gain back the control!

Why never invite me?*

Don’t we all love to hear that sentence? To be clear these are a couple situation that the sentence normally applies;

I already watch the movie last week.
Wah, never invite me.

The cake there was great, I ate three slices yesterday.
Eat cake never invite me.

Yeah, I spent my Saturday at hospital.
Go hospital never invite me!

Can you explain to me why I have to invite you whenever I go places? are you the one paying for it? I just can’t get it. If you say this is only a small talk, well, just don’t talk at all. I find this is very annoying. I have two hypothesis on it;

  1. They just want to have their time by themselves or have it with another circle of friends.
  2. You just not fun to be with.

For some people, it is relaxing to just have a time for ourselves. Yes, there are peoples who don’t mind, even enjoy, doing things alone. My suggestion if you want to say things like that or something similar, just zip it. Be wise on what you said. You might let it slip one time, and you won’t get any invitations anymore.

*the phrases is in Singlish about asking why people never ask the speaker to join their activity. The terms also commonly used is Bo Jio.