a good friend

After my Taipei day, I become more open for Chinese songs. It used to be only for fun and laugh during karaoke sessions, right now I become more aware to listening it. Besides it keep me trained with listening Chinese language, sometimes the lyrics is just nice to hear. My current favourite is the song called 呼喚愛 translated into crying out love, the song was originated from the youth group of Malaysian Buddhist Temple. What I love is the lyrics that said like this.

“朋友不需要明說”

Which roughly translated into

“Friends doesn’t need to be said”

Call me cheesy, but that is true. A friendship that flow just the way it is, is more likely to be the one that last long. During the period you might fight with each other, support each other, being dumb together, etc. But, it does not means that you always spend times together all the time. You might walk on different path, experiencing life on your own and share it with them in order to help both of you grow into a better person.

By giving space in the friendship, you give room for both of you to be more independent and grow on your own. Because there is no way that two people is the same from top to bottom, inside and out. As far as the similarities there will be a moment, when you enjoy your moment of solitude. A good friendship is not the one that when you always have to d things together. It is the one when you both knows when to support each other, and when to give space for each other.

Being friend does not mean all fun happy smiley time all day. You will have your differences, argument, fight, just like any other person. This thing is important because it will develop your friendship even more. Don’t it will be boring when all your ice cream are vanilla? You need a little chocolate to make things better. Just like the friendship with the differences you will able to talk out differences, have a great discussion and to be able to see things from different perspective.

Some says people won’t change unless they wanted to. It is true, but for us to have the willingness to change is not easy. It might come from within, but the trigger must be coming from somewhere. A best friends will be able to help you get the willingness. Because, when you are a friend you have built such a chemistry between both of you, and you can be brutally honest with each other. Other people might see what lacking from you and telling you stuff, but when you have no respect or chemistry towards them, what they said will only become a breeze that doesn’t matter.

Being brutally honest is not a sweet nice lane. It is a hard rocky road. It will get you bruises and stuff, to add that to the ego that everybody already had, it is most likely to put the friendship on jeopardy. You might not talk to each other for quite some times, but as you matured you will able to accept that it is not all about that sweet sugar coated shit. It is about each other that have the ‘click’ helping each other to develop into a better person.

And all that does not need an agreement or contract. It just doesn’t need to be said.

其是朋友不需要明說 

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