letter to the unstable me

Sometimes I get depressed. 

Depressed by seeing a lot of my friends living their life to the fullest. Chasing their dreams, focusing on the things they do best. I do feel happy for them, but as an individual, there are some feeling deep down inside that make me Jealous.

I could say, I am jealous to them. For knowing what they will headed to from now. They might just get started, but they do start they little step getting ready to the leap when they find their chances.

I am jealous to them, because they can just don’t give much thought about what people will think, and just keep going no matter what will they face later.

Angry to myself for not focusing on one thing. Angry to myself for feeling to much about what others thinking. Angry to myself for trying so hard to fit with others. Angry to myself for being too much focusing to the future. Angry for creating so much reasons.

More than that, I am angry for letting myself think all of that.

When I could use this time to think what little step I can take right now. Think about a nice solution, instead of creating such a tremendous friggin reasons, every time I hit a problem.

I have to stop being such a jackass, and start reaching to the highest point, instead on the bottom of the limitations. 

I have to start growing more, and more important to accept that I did made a bad decision before, but from that I got my experiences that I could use to grow. I have to start thinking more clearly and try to maintain the level of emotion before I reach to decisions. 

Well, let’s grow. 



3 thoughts on “letter to the unstable me

  1. Wow..There IS someone out there that exactly like me..you know what, andy..this what I’m thinking a lot of time. I’m the same..jealous with others that has the will and the dreams, because honestly, even my own self didn’t know and kinda lost about what I REALLY want to do for the future.

    But, I do realize..each of people was different. And I think the most important thing was to be grateful with everything with all kind of situation we have right now. We are young, as long as we have passion and purpose of our action, time will tell us the path that we should take. After all, as you said, let’s grow and we DO grow! So keep moving and put your spirit high~ 加 油!

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