My lecturer at campus once ever said.
If we have to be selfish to be better, then be it.
At first, I was like, what? How come we can be a better person by being selfish. It was just make no sense to me. But as life goes on, I started to kinda agree with the statement. Of course after some experiences that I involved first hand. Anyway don’t you know that even the Buddha said,
Ehipassiko, Come and See
Don’t make a bad judgement toward something, if you never experienced it yourself. If you find that something is good for you, then go, if don’t let it go. And if something has some good thoughts, take it, if it is bad, learn from it.
That is why I started to think, sometimes, we have to be more selfish to be a better person. Don’t let others stoping you from growing to be a better person. If you find that others started to make you worse, don’t bother to stay. Let’s be selfish, to make you a better person.
If you started to be a better person, let’s try to help others and learn together to be even better. I don’t know how’s your view about a better person, but mine is, to be able to help others, and to help others, we have to be good first. That’s my philosophy. I also believe, that if you are a good person, you will be surrounded with a good person. If your surrounding is not a good one, and you know it, let’s try to learn from their mistakes and make yourself a better one. Of course, to do that, we have to be patience, and not so emotional. If we have to leave them to be better, do leave them. But don’t forget, to come back and help them.
Why if they son’t want to change? Well, then go away. We have try to help them by give them an input, the ball is on them now, do they want to change or not. If their decision is to stay just like they did now, and you are not okay with it, then go. Be selfish. It is their choice isn’t it, nothing we can do to change a person, if they self just don’t want to change.